


Blank

by Annibal



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Verse, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-05-11 12:42:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5627062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annibal/pseuds/Annibal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will loses his memory, it's a long road to remember the last few years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I did a lot of research on Retrograde amnesia, but to be honest I am going to follow the prompt and make it a tropy version.

Will had woken a few times in flashes, his head hurt and he didn’t remember getting to the hospital. He didn’t really remember why he was here either. It was hard to stay awake to figure out what was going on. 

When he woke up again he felt like it was the next day. His head still ached, but Will managed to find out that he was in a Florida hospital, he guessed on vacation. He still struggled to remember what happened but after a few more tests the doctor told him he had a traumatic brain injury that has caused retrograde amnesia. It would probably not be permanent, but they wanted him to start working with an occupational therapist.

What bothered him most was the reassurance that his fetus was alright. He couldn’t even remember being with anyone. The loss of time had to be a few months at the least. Will could see he wasn’t showing. The only alpha he remembered spending any time with besides Jack was the psychiatrist he had met the week before. 

That had sent him into a full panic and he had been sedated. When he woke he was fuzzy but he started to figure it out. 

They didn’t really know what had happened to him beyond him being in a confrontation, but Will could see it happening. He had just started working with the FBI a few weeks before, maybe they had found the Shrike in the following months and things had gotten violent. 

He was still trying to reach for memories of the incident, trying to figure out how much he had lost when a nurse asked him if he would like to see his mate. 

It was disorienting to hear, his father passed away when he was in his early twenties and his aunt had passed away four years ago, leaving him his place in wolf trap. He’d been so alone the last time he could remember and the thought of a mate was foreign. 

He could hear the nurse speaking with someone at the door, he couldn’t make out the words, but he tried to see who it was. 

Will didn’t recognise the man who entered. He didn’t look to be particularly tall, but just from the way Will knew he was an alpha. The mans ears stuck out to the sides, poking out from his short hair. His eyes were large and green and the bow shaped lips were broken with a scar. He had an arm bandaged but otherwise he looked unharmed.

He couldn’t place the face at all, although in a strange way he found it handsome. When he felt the pull of worry in his chest he realised it wasn’t from him, it was the man hovering at the doorway. 

It was disorienting, but he understood what it was. He had heard this is what a bond felt like. Will reached to his neck and felt scarring, and then he knew that the man he didn’t recognise was his mate. 

“Hello.”

Will said, not sure what he should say to the man.

“Do you know who I am?”

The question sounded scared and his voice was soft enough that Will almost didn’t hear him.

“I don’t know who you are, but I am assuming you are my mate.”

Will tried to push a questioning feeling through the bond, he was unused to using it, but the responding warmth felt good. 

“I’m Matthew. We’ve been together for almost three years and mated for two.”

Will felt dizzy at the thought of losing tree years, and what had happened in that time. He desperately tried to pull any memory he could but there was only a blank space. His mouth felt dry as he spoke.

“I’m sorry, I don’t remember you.”

The pain through the bond was mostly shielded from him, but he still felt it. Matthew only held an expression of concerned, but Will could feel a torrent of emotions. 

Matthew slowly walked across the room. 

Will could feel him searching his face and Will flicked his eyes down from the intensity of his gaze. 

“The doctor said they believe your memory should return, it will just take a little time and work. How much did they tell you?”

Will shrugged.

“Not that much, just that they would be keeping me in for a day or two for observation. If everything looks good they want me to return home, they think it might help me remember.”

“Do you remember our house?”

“The house in wolftrap? Yes I remember that.”

Matthew softly shook his head, and Will felt even more lost.

“We moved, to Florida. You always talked about your time here, that it was your favourite place to grow up, and there was some things in Baltimore that you wanted to forget.”

Will laughed at the wording. 

“Looks like I forgot a little too well.”

Matthew bit his lip, and stood next to the bed. Will could feel that the alpha wanted to hold him, but he wasn’t sure if he was comfortable with the stranger holding him, so he pretended he couldn’t feel it.

“Would you mind if I stay with you? Until you come home?”

If he was honest Will wanted to be alone and try and let all the information settle in, but he also didn’t want to go home with a stranger. So he nodded. It was better he got to know him while they were in the hospital, where they wasn’t the intimacy of a shared house and the knowledge that they were starting a family.

He was ignoring it for now, ignoring the panic that threatened to choke him. 

When Will didn’t invite him close Matthew moved to sit in the recliner not far from the bed. It looks like it would push out into a small uncomfortable bed. The silence felt strained and so he spoke again.

“So how did we meet?”

At that the alpha laughed. A short bark. His face lit up as well, pulling into a lop sided smirk. For the first time Will felt as if that expression was familiar. 

“Would you believe you were in a mental hospital and I was a nurse working there?”

Will couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.

“What one?”

He hoped it was a joke, that things hadn’t gotten bad enough that he had ended up in a hospital.

“The Baltimore State Hospital.”

Will knew it a little too well; it was for the criminally insane. Chilton was running it, he remembered visiting on a case, but the details were vague. 

“Ah… What did I do to end up there?”

Matthew tilted his head, the smirk toning down into a soft smile.

“You didn’t do anything; you were accused of a crime you were innocent of.”

Will felt relief, and he relaxed back into the pillows, not realising he was tense until that moment. 

“How long have we been in Florida?”

Matthew’s face held a softness he didn’t understand. 

“One year.”

“So we came here because something happened in Baltimore?”

Will wanted a little more information to fill in the years of blank spots.

“That was part.”

Will swallowed, he didn’t dare ask about them being mated yet or anything more. It would be a while before he needed to nest, and until that day came he was intent on ignoring the situation. 

“The other part?”

“A job, and a few things more. I don’t want to overwhelm you.”

It was then that he knew that Matthew was hiding something from him.


	2. Chapter 2

Matthew had gone home in the morning, picked up a few things, clothing for Will, an old book Will liked to reread, a few pictures from their years together. The therapist has suggested slowly introducing memories to Will, and if he did remember anything, they could work from the memory. Nothing seemed to spark him yet, and there was a possibility of forever, but Matthew was willing to try.

He didn’t want to push their past on Will, but he also felt a desperate need for the omega to remember him. They had worked so hard to get to the point they were at. It took time to build the trust and love and now he felt like they were starting all over again. Matthew had earned every smile that Will gave him.

The week while Will was in and out of consciousness after his surgery had kept him awake, neither of them knew that Will was expecting until the doctors had told them on the first day, a quick check before he went into surgery. It had been almost two years of trying and the last two heats Will had started fertility treatment. Will would have been overjoyed, or at least his Will would have, but finding out now added a layer of awkwardness to their relationship and now the dread in his stomach was keeping him up.

As it was he had had trouble sleeping, remembering the sight as Will’s head slamming into the walkway. The way he had lulled there like a broken doll haunted him, but it had given Matthew time to get to his gun, and that was what had saved them both. 

At first he had thought that Will was dead, it was a feeling he never wanted again.

It didn’t help that the last few days had been spent answering hundreds of questions from the FBI. Jack had reassured him there would be no charges, but the case wouldn’t be closed as self-defence until they spoke to Will. 

Matthew felt guilt over the fact that Will had gotten harmed, but that was nothing to the worry he felt. He wanted Will to remember, he wanted him to be able to come home and not have the slight fear in his eyes as he looked at a stranger who was so familiar with him.

His determination was the only thing that kept Matthew from breaking down. Will was alive, and so was their baby, they could rebuild from there. It helped Matthew feel a little better as he returned to the hospital, despite knowing that Will would probably still be lacking any memory of him. 

He hated the blank looks that the omega gave him; there was no longer the warm flow of love he had gotten so used to. There was only discomfort and awkwardness between them. Will looking at an alpha that he was bonded to and yet did not remember. 

It was also difficult not to be able to hold him, he wanted to cling to Will and tell him that he was so glad he was okay. That Matthew’s life would be empty without his in it, but he knew that would only make Will feel uncomfortable, so he locked his needs away.

When he arrived at the hospital he spoke to Will’s doctor, please at least to hear that he seemed to be fully stable and there would be a good chance he would be released into his custody the next day. From then on he would have biweekly meeting with an occupational therapist, and a psychiatrist until either his memories returns or he became more stable in the new situation he found himself in. 

Matthew stood in the doorway and looked at Will, he was sitting up part was in the bed, he was dozing with his face finally relaxed. It wasn’t like Matthew was blind to the stress it was putting Will through, waking up to a new world, but there was nothing he could do other than slowly introduce it back a small piece at a time and hope that the omega would accept him a second time. 

He didn’t know how long he stayed there before a nurse pushed past him, bringing Will his breakfast and helping him get comfortable. 

Only then did Matthew come in, noticing Will’s eyes flick to him before looking away again. 

“Good morning.”

Matthew tried to sound warm and welcoming, trying to ease as much stress as he could from Will. He could feel Will through their bond; he also seemed to have forgotten how to control it, every emotion filtering through. The omega was a little less awkward and fear from the day before, but it was not so much of a change that he felt safe sitting on the edge of the bed. Instead he sat in the recliner he had passed out in the night before. Setting the items he brought on the floor beside him.

“Morning.”

“Did you sleep well?”

“Well enough.”

Will attempted a smile; he could feel Will trying to pull his confidence together. He ducked his head again and dug into the mass of white fluff that was probably whipped potatoes. 

“You used to hate the hospital food.”

Matthew said, trying to reach out. 

Will let out a snot of laughter, but it was good to hear. Will’s laughter had always been one of his favourite sounds. When they had first gotten together upon Will’s return from Florence he had almost never laughed.

“You can take comfort in the fact that I still do.”

The room felt awkward, and it reminded him of when he had first come to Will after he was released from his imprisonment at BSHCI. He had gotten through to Will then though, and he would do it again. 

“Did you speak with your doctor?”

Will nodded and finished chewing on a piece of toast before responding. 

“She said that I would probably be going home tomorrow.”

Again Matthew felt a little fear through their bond, he understood why. The hospital was a neutral place, their home was not. It was something they had made together; it would have proof of their love in every inch of it. Proof of memories that Will didn’t have. He would have to face the blank years.

“I hope you are excited to see the dogs.”

Matthew said hoping that the animals would help. They had helped a long time ago, and seeing how Will perked up he had said the right thing. 

“We kept my dogs?”

Matthew smiled at the hopeful look on Will’s face. 

“Most of them, you gave two to Alana and her mate. You also gave one to Jack after Bella passed on. Two passed away from old age, but we got another one. We have three, Buster, Winston-”

Matthew paused and was glad to see that Will recognised Alana, Jack and Winston. The memory lapse wasn’t as far back as he had worried. 

“The new one you named Whiskey. She’s hardly bigger than Buster. Little golden thing.”

Will was blank at the name, but Matthew knew it would take time. 

“If you would like I have pictures on my phone.”

Matthew continued, slowly standing and waiting for Will to pat the side of the bed before taking his place there. He wasn’t blind to the way that Will wasn’t asking questions, instead waiting for information to be volunteered.

Matthew resisted the urge to touch Will, and instead took his phone out and flicked through the pictures until he found the folder of their dogs. Then he handed it over to Will letting him look at his own speed and only telling him about the pictures if it felt needed. 

Some were of the kennel against the house. With the warmth of where they lived they no longer needed to bring the dogs in the house. It had a fairly big run, and they would be locked in there only for the night. They had made sure they installed good fencing before moving the dogs in, so that during the day they could have the run of the place. 

Will got through the dog pictures and before Matthew could take is phone back Will moved to the next folder. The first picture was one of himself. Matthew could hear his sharp breath.

It showed Will nude, although covered from the waist down by a sheet. He was laying on the bed laughing as Matthew tried to pull the sheet from him. It had been so beautiful that Matthew had captured it. 

Even though this was still the Will he was with when he took the picture Matthew felt the need to hide it and the ones that followed. He pulled the phone out of Will’s hand. 

“I don’t know…”

Will looked down at his hands, and Matthew ached as he felt the omega withdraw from him more in an overwhelming rush of feelings. 

“It’s too much, I’m sorry I should have been more careful.”

Will laughed and laid back against the pillow looking up at the room.

“You are my mate. I am going to have to get used to it someday.”

Will’s voice was tense and stress fell on every word. 

“Someday, but not today.”

Matthew licked his lips before continuing, wanting to repair the moment.

“I want to reassure you that when you return home I don’t intend to push anything on you.”

Will closed his eyes and Matthew could see they were wet.

“Thank you.”

One shaky hand reached out and Matthew took it, holding it between both of his own and trying to emanate calm so that Will could pull from it. 

The feeling he got from Will reminded him so much of what he had found when he had come from the hospital, a slightly self-conscious unstable omega, lacking the confidence and joy that he had learned over the last three years. 

They had done it once before and Matthew was determined to get through this again.


	3. Chapter 3

Will had talked to Jack all morning, it was strange, hearing about the event in questions that he ended up answering all the same, that he didn’t remember. 

Jack seemed so familiar with him, and he was glad when he finally was able to sign his statement and go home. He didn’t like that everyone seemed to know him better than he knew himself.

At this point the hospital food and the noise from the other patients made the awkwardness of living with someone he met only two days before seem more manageable. That and the quiet kindness Matthew had shown. He seemed to understand that talking took a lot out of Will and mostly kept silent company, bringing him a few books from home. His head still ached but he was enough painkiller that it didn’t really bother him. 

He dressed in the clothing Matthew had brought him, avoiding the mirror, not wanting to see his face or the damage that had happened to his body. He had found out he’d lost more time than he thought. Five years, long enough that he had scars over his stomach and forehead and two bullet wounds. It was like looking at a stranger, the sight not helped by his shaved head.

Will avoided looked at the area that was stitched closed, and he hoped he still had his toques at home so he could avoid ever having to look at them until his hair grew in. 

The car ride was silent and he could feel warmth through their bond. It caused a bit of anxiety to run through him. He felt like he was going to disappoint this man. He doubted that he would magically remember everything upon seeing the house, and Will felt like Matthew expected it to spark something. 

When they pulled in the driveway he did know it was their place, but it was not a past memory, it was the pictures he had seen of the dogs, he recognised the outdoor kennel. 

As soon as the engine died the dogs rushed the car, barking exactly at them. Matthew got out first, taking the main excitement from the three while Will waited a moment. He didn’t really want to step out into this world he didn’t remember but as he watched Winston jump around Matthew in excitement a hint of the fear that was crawling up his back faded. 

He waited another breath before stepping out. The dogs came to him, but they were a little calmer and he was glad. Will felt tired, and sore and all he could manage was to greet the three dogs. At least he knew two of them. Whiskey was sweet enough that he felt like he was warming up to her already.

Their familiar faces helped, and as he walked to the house with Matthew he felt a little better about it. 

“Why don’t I show you around the inside? The outside is all fenced so you can figure that out yourself if you want to.” 

Will gave a shaky nod as he tried to take in the yard, it looked well-kept and cozy, it was the type of home he had hoped to come home to someday. 

The anxiety was back as Matthew opened the door and waved him in first. The dogs stayed outside and he almost wished they had come in as well. There was a small hallway that led to the living room and as soon as his shoes were kicked off he went inside. He could see some of his old feature, it wasn’t completely unrecognisable as something he could have owned, but it didn’t feel like home. 

There was a picture on the wall of the two of them, it was obviously a bonding photo, and the look on his own face made him uncomfortable enough that he looked away. He must have loved Matthew, but that had been obviously since he saw the picture of himself in bed. Just remembering added to his discomfort. It felt as if his body did all sorts of things without his knowledge even if he knew that wasn’t how it was.

The book case against the wall held a lot of his literature, and his knickknacks. There was another picture, this one was of him holding the Whiskey. He guessed it was from a special occasion, but he didn’t ask. 

The couch looked fairly new and deeply comfortable, as his head throbbed he was sure he would be spending some time there. 

“There is a TV in the cabinet if you ever feel like just taking it easy and watching something.”

“Thank you.”

Will said feeling a little overwhelmed. He has hardly seen anything and yet it already felt like too much.

“Would you mind saving the tour for another day and just showing me the bedroom?”

He could see Matthew wilt a little, but the alpha didn’t show it in his face even though his shoulders sagged. Will was too tired though, and he knew if he was alone in the bedroom he would at least feel a little less like a guest in this house. At some point he would have to accept this as home.

“Of course.”

Matthew led the way up a flight of stairs and down the end of the hallway, there they found a master bedroom.

Will knew this was the room they shared just by the scent of it. He could smell their mixing scents and a hint of sex. The bed was in a corner and he knew his spot would be against the wall so that the alpha could guard his back. 

“Could you find my pajamas for me?”

He asked, hating that he had to. 

Matthew stood for a while, completely silent as if he wasn’t sure how to answer. Finally his voice was soft when he spoke. 

“You never wore anything to bed after we were mated, so your pajamas didn’t move with us, but I have some sweatpants you may use.”

Matthew crossed the room, opening one of the bottom drawers in the dresser and picking through a few pairs before settling on one. He also looked through another drawer and Will was relieved to see him pull out one of the plain white shirts Will used to wear to bed. 

It wouldn’t feel that strange. 

“Will this do?”

Matthew asked as he brought them to him, pressing them softly into his hands. 

Wil nodded and then winced as the world span just a little. 

“Thank you.”

Matthew moved to the door as if he was going to leave and then he paused again. 

“Would you mind if we shared a bed? I will make sure to dress for bed.”

Will didn’t love the thought of sleeping next to the man, but when the silence stretched out he felt the desperation and sadness that trembled on their bond and found himself wanting to consent. He supposed it was part of being bonded, not being able to ignore the other persons feelings. 

“Alright, just be careful not to knock me.”

He felt the relief before Matthew spoke. 

“Of course. I’ll be making dinner so if you get hungry just come downstairs. Off the living room is the dining room, and then the kitchen.”

Will found he appreciated the explanation without having to ask. 

“Thank you, I’ll probably just sleep.”

Matthew slipped through the door but stopped before he closed it. 

“Yours is the blue tooth brush.”

With that he was gone and Will found a small smile on his lips as he started to change.


	4. Chapter 4

Matthew woke slowly, feeling the ache of the wound in his arm and bruised bone of his ribs he was laid on again and the warm body beside him. He had missed sleeping next to Will the last week, he had wanted nothing more than to curl up at his back and hold the omega. 

Now he could do just that. 

He was careful as he shifted, he didn’t want to come anywhere near Will’s head, but he did allow himself one arm around his waist. The last week and a half had been hard on Matthew. In a way he had lost his mate, but he couldn’t mourn the loss of what they had together, or even allow himself to feel the pain that the blankness created. Will needed him too much for that. Matthew just had to accept that Will may never remember their time together and work on helping him understand why they were together. 

Before Will woke he could pretend that his life was normal, and that he would probably feel a painful elbow in a moment and then Will’s lips. Often they had morning beginning with playful teasing and the occupational slow rut, but no matter what there was always warmth. 

The curls he was so used to feeling in his face were gone and only the shaved skin with lines of stitches were left behind. 

Just seeing them made his stomach turn, and he reached for Will’s belly, feeling the slightly bloated bump. 

Even though Will had been bloated since he had started taking fertility treatments the last two heats, knowing that this time it worked made a slight bit of difference. It was a part of both of them that was growing inside him. A part they had made together before Will had slipped away from him again. 

It helped him push down the loss he felt, and instead concentrate on the future and on healing. 

It felt right having Will back at home to heal. 

When he felt Will start to stir he pulled back his hand, but stayed tucked up against him. The touch would help even if he tensed up, it was important for an omega’s pregnancy hormones for them to feel their mate. 

He knew enough about that Will had made sure of it over the last two years. They had been together almost a year when they bonded, it had taken that long for both of them to feel whole again, and to feel ready. They had started trying to start a family shortly after that. 

Will was older, and the hand life he had lived had taken a toll. After over a year of trying they had started looking into fertility treatments. With both of their mental instabilities documented there would be no chance at adoption, it didn’t matter that Matthew was now on medication and labeled as no longer a risk to society. 

They were starting to give up, Will was tired of the mood swings and bloating that he got from the treatments, and it felt like they had spent two years hoping for something that would never happen. 

It was frustrating now that Will couldn’t remember him was when they finally would have a chance at a family together. 

All he could do was wait and hope that things would work out. 

Will started to move against him and Matthew felt an echo of pain lace over his head. Matthew heard a groan from his mate and Will gingerly sat up.

“Medication?”

Wil asked keeping his eyes closed.

Matthew took it off the end table and put a painkiller in Will’s hand, then passing him the water bottle he left in case Will got thirsty. 

He watched Will swallow down the painkiller and concentrated on sending soothing feelings to help ease the pain. 

Once he had taken it Will gently laid himself back down on the pillow turned away. Matthew wasn’t sure if he was still welcome but he tucked himself back against Will. 

He could feel the omega tense a little, but he wasn’t pushed away, so he continued to stay at his back. 

Matthew would take whatever Will was willing to give him. 

He could tell Will was fighting the headache and he wished there was more he could do.

“Do I have a job?”

Will’s voice was quiet, and it was the first real question Will had asked unprompted. It may have been just out of need for distraction but it seemed like a good sign. 

Matthew had already talked to his boss days ago, with the doctors note he would get at least two months off. Not that Will’s boss needed a note; he treated the omega like he was family. 

“You are a marine mechanic. You work on high end yachts.”

Will paused for a moment as if he was mulling it over.

“And you?”

Matthew smiled; he had worked on an inmate work program, helping inmates to become stable parts of society. Matthew had started study on how to be an electrician, and had managed a journeymen’s the second year he was out. Will had helped, letting him stay at his house so that he could afford to do it. In the end he felt like Will was the one who had given him the second chance.

“I’m an electrician.” 

Will’s hum sounded pleased, and Matthew was unsure why. He wanted to ask, but Matthew still felt like he needed to be careful, not to push Will too much. It couldn’t be like in the past when Will would tell him his mind. 

“No one visited in the hospital. Do we have friends?”

Matthew wasn’t about to discourage the barrage of questions that Will was asking so he answered as well as he could. 

“I actually asked them not to come. I thought maybe you would want a bit of time to adjust before meeting everyone again. We have a few from work, and we are fairly close with the neighbour, she’s a single mother.”

Will carefully got up and rolled over so that he was facing Matthew on the bed. It took a while, the pain in his head making Will even more careful.

“You were right; I don’t really feel like seeing anyone yet. Thank you.”

The thanks were added as an afterthought, but Matthew felt good that he had pleased him. He took Will’s hand ignoring the ache in his arm as he used it. The omega took it, looking at their joined fingers.

“I know this is a lot for you, I just want to make it a little easier.” 

Matthew used the bond to let Will feel how much he loved him. The omega’s eyes widened a little but he didn’t pull away. 

The only thing he felt in return was the nervous pulling on the bond and a hint of confusion, but when Matthew didn’t push he started to relax. 

“I’m sorry; I’ve been alone for a very long time. It’s a lot to be dropped into a relationship.”

“I understand.”

“Not that I don’t want it. It just feels like everything is jumbled up.”

Will fumbled on, confusion on his face. 

They were both quiet for a little longer. It was the first real conversation they had had since the accident. Matthew didn’t want it to end like this.

“If you want to know about the last few years you can ask me anything you want.”

“How did we start seeing each other?”

Matthew smiled at the question, it had been so complicated at the time, but right now he was sure he could simple it down for Will. 

“You remember how I said you were a patient at BSHCI when we met? Well during that first meeting a few things happened and I ended up sort of trading places with you. I ended up there for two years. Should have been three but I got out for good behaviour. They believed that I had changed. That was around the time you had just caught the Chesapeake Ripper, and you were so tired.”

“Who was it? The ripper.”

Will broke in, and in a way it was like Matthew was telling a story rather than telling the past. 

“Hannibal Lecter.”

“My psychiatrist?”

Will made a slight frown as if surprised by the turn of events. If the situation had been different it may have been funny to watch his expression. 

“Yes. You caught him, and then you stopped working, you stopping everything for a while. I came to see you when I got out, and you told me to leave. I left that day and then I just kept coming back to visit. Sometimes you would invite me in, we’d sit in silence or share a drink. Over time you started to always invite me in.”

“You were courting me the whole time?”

“Not at first, I always knew I wanted to be with you, but I wanted a friend who I felt could understand me. I thought it was worth waiting for if I needed to, though I have to admit though I was very attracted to you.”

Will laughed, and then a wince pulled across his features. It didn’t stop him though even with slightly pink cheeks Will spoke again.

“Why did you start courting me?”

Will seemed to be trying to figure out their relationship, and Matthew was willing to try and help, but he still didn’t want to overwhelm him.

“You kissed me, and as soon as I knew you were open to it there was no going back.”

Matthew felt surprise through the bond, and then Will got a thought look as if he could see himself being the one to push them forward.

“That was it?”

“Pretty much, I moved in in about a month, and we’ve been together since.”

Matthew left out the struggle it was, how Will was full of anger and often directed it in the wrong direction. Will would remember someday, there was no point making him relive it until that point. 

He was sure it was strange for Will and not fully real, so he didn’t push for more than holding his hand. That would be enough for now.

Matthew understood that if Will didn’t start to remember that he was going to have to court him again. That at least wasn’t something he would mind having to do twice.


	5. Chapter 5

Will had spent most of the day in what he has slept in, his head was still aching and so he watched TV and let Matthew pamper him.

He may not have remembered the alpha, but he did appreciate the way he cared for him. 

After he asked about their relationship he hadn’t really wanted to ask for more for a while, he needed time to think it over see if anything in his memory lit up. Will had made it downstairs and Matthew had followed, making his meals and making sure he got his vitamins. 

It was why he ended up asking Matthew for his computer, he assumed he had one. Maybe the pictures would help, as eerie as it was looking at himself doing things he didn’t remember. 

Matthew had told him he would bring it to him the next day, pausing a little beforehand like he always did when he was deciding to hide something from him. 

Will had no doubt something would be removed, but at this point he wasn’t sure he wanted to see everything. It was too overwhelming. Will knew better than to think their relationship was as sweet as Matthew seemed to think, he was a realist, but as far as he could tell there were no deep dark secrets. Their bond felt strong, and it wouldn’t have if they weren’t open before the accident so he allowed the deception. It might just be more naked pictures that Matthew wanted to clear up. 

Will had groaned at the thought, he was in the FBI and a teacher, he should have known better. It only took a few minutes to realise that he wasn’t either. He must have been crazy about the alpha to allow it, but Will didn’t want to think about it yet. He had found the last few days were filled with avoidance. 

He did feel boredom of sitting on the couch for hours, and when Matthew came through he tried to drill him on their past relationship again. Matthew was evasive, but he had an impish smirk that Will had never seen on his face before. His lips were twisted up more on one side than the other and it was endearing as it was infuriating. 

Matthew had told Will that he would tell him that night and had brought him a book that he said Will used to love. 

Will had been annoyed at being told what he enjoyed, but as he worked his way through he had to admit Matthew was right, he did love it. That only annoyed him more.

He was ignoring his growling stomach, not wanting to stand and feel dizzy again. At least tucked into the couch he may have an aching head, but it was not so obvious as when he tried to walk. Will still didn’t feel comfortable asking Matthew to get him something so he stayed that way until the alpha appeared in the doorway. 

“I made us dinner.”

“Good timing.”

Will said, setting the book aside. As he slowly started to stand Matthew came to him, slipping an arm around his waist. Will leaned into him as he walked, letting the alpha steady him. 

He was surprised as he saw the dining room, the lights were dimmed and there were candles lighting up the table, it was already set. As Matthew led him to his spot he felt as if he was missing something. 

“What’s all this?”

“You wanted to know about us, so I thought I would give you our first date.”

Matthew kept at his side as he helped him sit, only once he was settled did Matthew move to the kitchen. It was open to the dining room and Will watched him as he came back with a dish. It was a mushroom burger with obviously homemade fries. 

Will watched Matthew serve himself with something similar, except the burger was some sort of meat. 

Matthew didn’t sit yet, instead he walked to a cd player and turned it on, there was soft music although it wasn’t as refined as Will would expect from something recorded. Will felt like he had heard it before, but not enough to recognise who it was.

“For our first date we went to a small pub not far from your house. There was a band playing that night.”

Will picked up the burger and felt his jaw ache as he took a bite. It was delicious though, still holding juice while not either under or overcooked. He was impressed at the alpha’s skill, it was a simple dish but it was well made. 

It made him smile as he thought about an alpha cooking for him, going through the effort to make sure he ate well. 

They ate mostly in silence, enjoying the music and taste of the food. Will still felt nauseous, but as the food filled his belly he felt a little better. He couldn’t finish his meal, but once he did he found himself wanting to say something. Matthew saved him from that, standing and holding out a hand to Will. 

Unsure what to do he took it, allowing Matthew to pull him up, a little surprised as he was pulled into his arms.

“I asked you to dance that night.”

Will noticed for the first time the alpha was just a little shorter than him, but it was comfortable to rest his chin on him while they slowly swayed together. It was not enough movement to make him feel sick, and the tight hold actually soothed him. Will knew it was their bond that made Matthew so addictive to touch, but he wondered how much of it was muscle memory. His body knowing that it fit well with him. 

“I said yes?”

“You called me an irritating asshole, but you still danced with me.”

Will pulled back to look at Matthew and could see his eyes were positively sparkling from memory, and Will found himself getting caught up in Matthew’s recollection. It felt as if they were courting for the first time and Will felt his stomach flutter with a hint of excitement.

They kept swaying to the music until the cd finished, letting himself get lost in the steady feeling of Matthew’s arms. When the finished Matthew slowly pulled away, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead before fully separating.

“You’re probably tired.”

Matthew seemed to pick up on how he was feeling and Will wondered if he would ever get such a good handle on their bond. 

“Walk me to bed?”

He could feel Matthew was pleased as they started their walk up the stairs and to their room. The alpha kept a good hold on his arm so that he was steady as he walked, and once they got to the bed Matthew helped him sit even though he didn’t need it. 

Will looked up and wondered how that night had finished, if Matthew had left or if they had ended up in bed.

He looked up at the alpha and still felt the warmth from dancing; he tilted his head up and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. Matthew’s lips were softer than he expected and he could feel them soften as they pressed against his own. When they broke apart Will gave him a shaky smile. 

“Thank you for the memory.”

Matthew lit up, his return smile bright. 

“I’ll try and return every one I have to you.”

With that Will laid himself in the bed, pulling the blankets around himself and grinning against the pillow. For the night he has forgotten about his bald head, the pain, and the scars that covered him. Will was only lost in the thought of their date and the music that seemed so familiar.


	6. Chapter 6

Matthew had woke up with the strong scent of Will in his nose and the day had only gotten better from there. He met up with Molly while he was walking the dogs and he was able to let her know both that Will would be okay, and that he was expecting. 

It was so nice to be able to share the news with someone who knew them. They had been trying for so long and she understood what good news it was. The tight hug was the best thing he had felt in days, a break from the guilt and stress of being with Will. 

Finally being able to celebrate the news brought his mood up even higher and by the time he got to the house he felt like he had the energy to put on a smile and make it through another day. 

Will was still in bed, looking pale and tired, but at least he was awake. Matthew was just glad his hair was fuzz on his head; it helped him look a little more normal. 

“Morning.”

He said and watched Will’s smile, they may be starting again but this wasn’t the scarred Will he had mated, it reminded of him of the one he had first met, the one who had caught his attention. 

There was so much less anger in him. He could see that Will was able to rest like he never could anymore. 

“Where were you?”

The question wasn’t accusing, purely curious. The last two days of being home Matthew had always been there when he was awake.

“Walking the dogs.”

“Ahh.”

Will started to sit up and he paused half was to close his eyes. Matthew knew the symptoms that were expected from the blow he had taken, but that didn’t stop him from worrying. 

“You need help?”

Will scooted to the edge of the bed and hung his legs over. There was a pause as if Will was debating if he should say what he was thinking.

“I was thinking about having a shower.”

Matthew had enjoyed his stronger scent. It wasn’t like Will was doing enough for the sweat to be unpleasant. He loved burying his nose in the back of Will’s shirt in the morning. 

“Great, I am guessing you know where everything is?”

“In the hospital the nurse helped me shower.”

Will paused and Matthew understood he was asking for help, so he offered.

“Would you like me to help? I can wear a swimsuit if you would like.”

“Could you?”

Matthew smiled and crossed the room standing at the dresser, digging through until he found it. He kept his back turned and undressed, thinking it might help if he was the one to undress first. When he was nude he slipped on the little blue swimsuit. He felt a little flutter through the bond and it took a second to realise the hints of affection.

He turned to Will and smiled. 

“You have tattoos.”

Will was openly staring and Matthew realised that for Will this would be the first time seeing him like this. Warmth flowed through him as Will’s eyes dragged over him. 

“I do. We even got one together.”

Will whipped his head around trying to look, and Matthew could see the wince from the fast movement. 

“Where?”

Matthew turned around and showed Will the one on the center of his shoulders. 

“We got it about a month before we bonded.”

He could see more questions in Will’s eyes, but he ignored it and reached out to help him stand. 

“Would it be alright if I wore a swimsuit too? I mean I know you’ve seen everything…”

Matthew bit his lip to keep from smiling.

“I’ll bring it to you.”

He pulled out one of this own swimsuits for Will, wanting to see as much of his skin as he could. He missed the skin on skin contact he was used to, this would be as close as he could get for now. Matthew handed it over and then left for the bathroom, warming up the water while he waited. 

When Will didn’t appear right away he stepped under the water and washed himself, scrubbing his hair and skin. Will came to the shower door as he was finishing up and he opened for the omega welcoming him in. 

His self-conscious expression almost physically hurt. Matthew wanted to do anything he could to sooth it. 

Making sure Will’s head didn’t get under the water he took the shower head off the wall and started to rinse him down, letting Will get a steady hand on the grip while he did. Matthew was glad that he had at least asked for help, Will knew that the dizziness would cause a problem when standing in the water. He wanted Will to depend on him again. 

Matthew ignored the wound on his own arm, letting it pull so that he could touch Will.

He started on his shoulders, rubbing the muscles and working them until he felt them start to give way. Relaxing beyond his control. Will slowly started to melt into his touch and Matthew enjoyed it. 

He used to love washing Will when the omega allowed it. It meant that he got to touch every inch of his body. It felt like one of the few ways he could fully express how much he loved him. 

When he got to his lower back he could feel Will push back into his hands subconsciously. 

He didn’t even protest or tense up when Matthew ran his hands over his hip and rubbed at his upper thighs. 

Matthew swallowed as Will widened his stance a step. He knew it was for stability, but it reminded him of the past when Will would open his legs just a little in the shower in invitation. 

The grab bar wasn’t installed just for safety. 

Matthew struggled to push down the thought and was glad he was behind the omega so that he wouldn’t notice that Matthew’s body was reacting from the touch.

The small swimsuit was already tight. 

“How are you feeling?”

Matthew asked to distract himself.

“A little better every day. Still tired and sore though.”

“You have a lot of healing to do. Plus you’re making another human. That takes a lot of energy.” 

It was the first time he had brought up the pregnancy, as much as he wanted to give Will time he desperately needed to know that it was okay. The fact that they never spoke about it yet worried him.

“I guess so, I’ve never really looked into it before.”

“We have a lot of books if you are curious, we’ve pretty much read everything there is. This has been a long time in the works.”

Will let out a little huff like he sometimes did before he said something he thought was funny.

“Took you a long time to convince me into it?”

Matthew shifted again as he got down to Will’s feet, moving onto his knees.

“Would you believe it was your idea?”

“How do I know you aren’t just saying that because I can’t remember?”

The gentle teasing was reassuring, although it was often how Will deflected from answering something he didn’t want to it was also a sign that Will was comfortable with him. 

This time Matthew got serious, letting the smile slip from his lips. His words were soft when he spoke and he worked the skin in his fingers.

“Because I know you will remember someday, and when you do I want you to know that I always respected you and never took advantage of you during this time.”

Silence fell between them and Matthew kept washing his mate, keeping his eyes down as he moved to the front and started working his way back up. 

He was still slightly swollen but he doubted that Will would look. Matthew paused as he moved back up over his hips and he couldn’t resist pressing a kiss to Will’s stomach. He could feel the omega tense, but he wasn’t pushed away, in fact a hand found its way to his hair, fingering through it softly. 

“You’re beautiful.”

Matthew whispered against the soft skin, looking at the scar above his belly button. The intimacy of the moment felt like the past, and he nuzzled the skin softly. The little spike of feelings he got from Will held excitement and hope. 

It made him realise that his mate was beginning to have a crush on him. 

“I think that’s good.”

Will finally said, his fingers slowly slipping out of his hair. 

“I can finish.”

Will stood still with his hand still gripping the bar and allowed Matthew to finish washing his chest and arms. When he was finished he turned off the water and hung up the showerhead again. 

“Let’s get you dry.” 

He held on tight to Will’s hand as he stepped out so that he wouldn’t lose his balance from any dizziness. 

While Will stood on the mat Matthew grabbed out two towels and wrapped one around Will. He let the omega dry himself as he patted himself down. 

“How long have we been trying?”

Will didn’t have to specify for Matthew to know that he was talking about the pregnancy. 

“Seven heats. We’ve had a bit of help the last two.”

Will would know that that was an extraordinary amount of time compared to normal. Matthew had had to give Will shots leading up to the last two heats; Will had hated it, but had been desperate enough to try anything at that point. 

“So this is a big thing for us.”

Will’s statement sounded bland, but he could feel confusion and nerves fluttering under the surface. Matthew wished he could brush it off to help calm Will, but he wasn’t going to start lying when he was trying to gain his trust again. 

“It’s a very big thing, it’s why we bought a three bedroom house and moved the dogs outside.”

Matthew was dry but he waited for Will to finish his slightly slower movements, offering an arm when it was needed for stability. He kept his eyes down, avoiding Will’s gaze to let the omega feel free to look at him however he wanted. Matthew’s arm was sore from the water soaking through the bandage and the use of his arm, but it was worth it. 

He felt so much closer to Will, and not just because of the touches. 

There was a hush over the room and he knew Will was thinking over this information. It would be hard for him to truly understand without having experienced the last few years. The fact that he was accepting the pregnancy was enough for Matthew for now.


	7. Chapter 7

Will felt like he was dropped into another reality, one where the domestic life he had fumbled towards was his every day. He had wanted it so badly and now he had it. It was hard to connect with the new life sometimes, but at least Matthew made it a little easier. 

That and his dogs, not that he had managed to spend a lot of time with them. His time mostly spent inside, he was still dizzy and nauseous, but it was getting better.

He even planned to explore the yard later when Matthew returned from picking up groceries. 

Not that that Will was foolish enough to believe that domestic bliss was all there was to it, Will had seen the scars he had, and he knew that the man that had tried to kill both him and Matthew was a serial killer. He was still fuzzy when Jack had questioned him but he was starting to put it together. 

His old therapist has sent the man after them. 

He still didn’t truly know what had happened, the questions had answers he was not sure he wanted, so he had avoided the back patio since he had returned home. If Matthew wasn’t out getting groceries he would have probably still been avoiding it. Instead he was hovering by the door, no longer sure what was causing his nausea, if It was his head, the pregnancy, or his nerves. 

Will didn’t know if he wanted to remember, the scars and hints from Matthew told a story of a very hard time. It felt easier to live on from now, to adjust to the life he had built and forget the past, but he couldn’t let go if he was afraid of his own back yard.

He opened the door and stepped out, looking out over the patio. They had a brown lawn set; it looked well used and well loved. Dragging in a deep breath he walked to where the pavement was bleached clean. 

The spot where he had bled on the ground was obvious; it stood out now as much as it probably had then. 

Will tried to think of the night, feeling the blankness he was used to. Only when he closed his eyes and listened to the sounds around him did he feel like he had been there before. Taking in a deep breath he could almost feel it. The cool night air on his skin, and the warm breath against his neck. 

It felt so real he opened his eyes and took in the world around him. 

For the first time he felt like he had been at this house before. 

His heart was pounding in his chest and he walked to the patio set, sitting down in one of the chairs. Will was still trying to calm down when he heard footsteps. He expected it to be Matthew even though he hadn’t heard their car in the driveway. 

Instead he saw a pleasant looking women, she had a round face and medium length blond hair. Her expression was warm and her stance was open. She was trying to show him just how safe she was. The dogs were walking beside her, but their reaction showed Will that they knew her. She was holding a small cardboard box.

“I hope you don’t mind me dropping by.”

“I don’t know you.”

Will knew it was rude as soon as he said it, but he didn’t know her and the hint of fear at being caught off guard by someone he probably was supposed to know brought it out. The memory hung on him and he felt panic in his chest as he looked around in the day light.

“Matthew asked me to return a few things I had borrowed. Is he home?”

“He might be.”

The women could obviously see how uncomfortable he was and set the box down on the lawn. 

“Let Matthew know Molly came by.”

Molly turned away and started walking; she paused and turned around once more. 

“I’m glad that you are okay Will, and again I’m sorry for dropping by.”

With that he watched her leave, once she hopped over their fence he picked up the box and brought in back into the house, locking the door behind him. 

Will carried it back to the couch and started to look through it. There were mostly books and a few DVDs; he recognised almost all of it. It was a lot of the ones he had at his old place. The realisation came with mixed feelings and finally he set it aside. 

He felt strange after the visit, but it was the memory that stuck with him. It hung over him. He knew this place, but it was like a word just out of reach and the more he thought of it the further away it seemed. Will was still mulling it over when he heard the door. 

He watched it open feeling on guard just in case it wasn’t Matthew. 

He didn’t even know where that thought came from, but he didn’t relax until he saw the smiling face he was starting to feel familiar with.

“Do you need help?”

Matthew shook his head, lifting up the bags, as if to show how well he could handle it. The gesture made Will smile in return and he pulled his legs up onto the couch. 

“I can handle it.”

He watched the alpha move through the room, and he waited while he unpacked the groceries. It was a while before he returned, and Matthew looked like he wanted to stay. Will found that he shared the feeling. After what had happened he didn’t really want to be alone. 

“Molly brought some things by.”

Will watched his face, glad that he could see recognition over her name, maybe Matthew had mentioned her before but today Will just couldn’t remember if it was a name he should have known. 

“That’s good; it’s mostly just things you lent them. I thought it might be nice if you had more of your things from before.”

“Why don’t you sit for a while?”

Matthew took him up on the offer; he was slightly stiff as he fit into the spot beside him. Will hesitated for a moment before leaning into his side. Almost instantly Will felt an arm around his shoulders pulling him closer. 

He leaned into it letting himself tuck against his should. Will remembered the feeling of breath on his neck again and his skin felt warm as he looked up at Matthew’s face. 

The alpha looked down at him in return and Will moved into it, letting their lips press together. He closed his eyes and flicked his tongue over Matthew’s bottom lip. 

Matthew opened his mouth for him, for Will it may have been their first real kiss, but almost instantly Will could tell that it wasn’t Matthews. 

It was as he knew just how Will liked it, gently biting his lower lip before their tongues touched. Then quickly taking initiative and thoroughly exploring his mouth until Will felt like he was breathless. He felt like he was fumbling in comparison, but Matthew didn’t seem to mind. 

When they parted Will didn’t pull away, he stayed in his side feeling Matthew’s breath against his neck. Will smiled at the tickle, feeling for the first time like maybe he did really fit here.


	8. Chapter 8

After they had kissed night before there had been a hint of warm tension around them. When they went to bed that night Will had curled around him and for the first time Matthew slept through the night with ease. 

There wasn’t tension sitting in his stomach, there was only the smell of Will and his arms around him. He felt good when he woke up, and he even made a special breakfast for the two of them. It was what he had made for Will the night after they had first mated. 

When he told Will that the omegas cheeks had got that pink tint that Matthew loved, but he had looked pleased. 

Matthew had made it when they got mated because he knew it was something Will loved. Simple oatmeal pancakes with cinnamon in the batter, and instead of the fruit he normally used they had real syrup. 

After that Will had gone out to the patio with one of his books. Seeing him out there put a knot in Matthew’s stomach. Will was even in the same chair they had been in. He remembered how it had felt at that time. 

It had been late and Will had been laying under him, he was pressing kisses to his neck and he couldn’t think about anything other than the warm omega under him. He hadn’t even heard Dolarhyde sneaking up on them. 

The panic was crawling up his throat and he reminded himself that Will was alright, they were both alive. 

It was hard some days to fight down his alpha side, to know that he couldn’t be around protecting Will all the time. 

There was still a slight guilt in him, that he should have done more, that it was just like the last time when he had failed Will. He hadn’t killed Hannibal and Will had gotten hurt again. It always came back to that. 

He had gotten a call from Alana, she had heard the news and wanted to come out and see him that weekend. Matthew had told her he would talk to Will and he knew at some point he needed to.

This morning Will seemed a little steadier, and at least Alana he would remember. 

Matthew opened the door and walked out. The clutching feeling in his chest got tighter. He hadn’t gone out here since Will had gone to the hospital, he had paid for a cleaning service but he had never gone back to check if it was thorough. 

Will looked up at the noise, a hint on panic and then it was replaced with relaxation. He could see that Will was tired, the slight darkness under his eyes.

“Going to join me?”

“If you don’t mind.”

Will gave him a small smile, it bordered on shy.

“I would like that.”

Matthew shut the door behind himself and crossed the patio to sit in the chair next to Will’s. He could see where Will’s head had hit the concrete. The rest of the patio wasn’t near as clean and he felt the need to get the pressure washer out of the garage and make the rest of it as clean as the spot that Will had bled on. 

Tearing his eyes away from the spot he managed to return Will’s smile. 

“Alana called, she wanted to come see you.”

“Alana Bloom?”

“That’s right.”

“How did she know?”

The questions sounded almost like an accusation, as if Matthew was talking about him behind his back. 

“Crawford spoke to her.”

It was the truth, Matthew wasn’t really that close to the friends Will had before he quit the FBI. Despite the fact that Matthew knew most of them were murderers they had all treated him as if he was somehow worse. 

There had been many points when he had heard that he should leave, that Will had been through enough. Matthew had felt like he was the only one that had cared about that. 

He was the one who had taken the time to bring the old Will out. He was so angry and quiet and it had taken a long time before he had trusted anyone again. Matthew had been the only one who had took the time to make sure Will knew he wasn’t alone while he tried to rebuild. 

“So is she coming down?”

“I wanted to ask you first. If you aren’t feeling well enough then they can wait.”

“They?”

“Alana, her mate, and their son.”

He saw the small amount of recognition on Will’s face. 

“Right. You said something about her having a mate.”

There was silence for a moment and he realised he needed to prompt Will again for a response. 

“Should I tell her to come down?”

Will closed the book, losing his place and rolling onto his side. The plaid shirt pulled up a little showing his stomach. He was wearing a pair of Matthew’s sweatpants, and Matthew smiled to himself. The omega was still constantly getting their clothing confused, but Matthew liked it, in the past Will hardly ever wore his clothing. 

“No.”

“Just no?”

Will pursed his lips and his brows drew down just a little. 

“I’m tired of talking to people who seem to know more about me than I do.”

Matthew hadn’t heard a slightly insulting comment from Will in a while. Over their time together he had become more careful, with the bond he started to realise how he could be hurtful.

He tried to block him from feeling it, but Will made a face that showed that he had felt. 

“It’s just hard for me.”

Will said in the way of an explanation. The thing was that Matthew did understand, but that didn’t make it easier. 

“I know, it’s a lot to go through.” 

When Matthew said it Will gave him another weak smile and Will ran his hand over his stomach. 

“It’s actually easier that I didn’t know you before. I don’t have any notion of who you were. It’s not a giant change from who I knew, I just have to get to know you.”

Will touched the skin peeking out and gently rubbed it. Matthew felt that same spike of warmth and hope as before. The hint of growing affection.

“I was just about to head upstairs for a nap. Would you like to join me?”

Will hadn’t made a lot of invitations and even if he wasn’t tired he wasn’t going to pass it up. 

“I would like that.”


	9. Chapter 9

Will was feeling warm and giddy as they walked up to the bedroom; he wasn’t lying when he said it was easier to be around Matthew. The alpha didn’t make him feel bad about what was missing, he just told him stories and helped him relive a few of their moments. 

With Jack he felt like he felt like he was constantly putting his foot in his mouth, they had apparently been through a lot that he didn’t remember. Matthew never really made him feel like that, even when he knew he said something hurtful.

He had never been one to wait; he had missed human connection so much that he often felt happy to tumble into bed. Will had been taking it slower with Matthew because there was so much to mess up. It wasn’t just a hope at happiness, he was his mate. They would be together until one of them passed away. The last thing he wanted to do was mess up something he had built over the last three years. 

Will had heard how it was if their mate was unhappy in their bond. So as they moved upstairs he knew he had to be careful, it was more than just giving into what his body craved. 

Matthew was hanging back a little, and Will could feel hints of arousal through their bond. 

He had only promised a nap, but he felt how their bond hummed with contentment in the morning when Matthew was against his back. Matthew wanted just a little more, and after the kiss the night before and the one this morning he was feeling like some gentle touching himself. 

It was all a little strange; he knew that Matthew would know his body well if they had been together three years. Yet to Will they had only kissed a handful of times, and although he had had enough sexual partners in the past he never remembered being with an alpha before. 

He was just glad the alpha seemed to have no problem with taking things slow with him. 

When they arrived at the bedroom Will started to undo his shirt as he crossed the room. At the edge of the bed he shrugged it off and tugged off the sweatpants so he was only left in his tight boxers, they seemed to be getting slightly tighter every day. 

Normally he put on pajamas when he was going to share a bed with Matthew, but he wanted the skin contact. He hoped Matthew would understand the hint, but then he saw him moving to the dresser. With a wave of his hand Will corrected him.

“I read that skin on skin contact is good for pregnant omega’s. I thought maybe we could try that.” 

“Of course.”

Matthew must have known it was a paternity book he was reading, the excuse seemed to work and Matthew turned around, coming to the edge of the bed. He started undressing and Will watched him through half closed eyes. Hoping that Matthew wouldn’t notice him looking. 

He didn’t even think of the feeling that might be leaking through their bond. Instead he just watched Matthew strip down to his underwear, unable to help staring at his toned abs through his lashes. He could tell Matthew was younger than him and he wondered what he did to draw in a young fit alpha like him. What had made Matthew keep coming back. 

Part of him wondered if the scars marring his own body were before or after, if Matthew had still wanted to mate him even with them. 

When Matthew was only in his underwear he slipped into the bed. Even though Matthew pulled the blankets up and was careful about being seen Will still caught sight of the bulge in his underwear. 

More curious than he should be he, Will waited for Matthew to settle in the bed, lying on his back, and then he moved into Matthew’s side being careful about his head. When he had settled he threw one leg over him so he could feel that he was mostly soft. There was a hint of excitement though Will’s body just feeling him.

Although he knew skin to skin contact was supposed to calm him Will was feeling anything but calm. His crush on the alpha was growing with every touch.

Matthew turned his head to look at him and Will closed the distance to kiss him. He knew the position wouldn’t be comfortable for the alpha to hold for long, but he didn’t let that stop him, he sucked on his lower lip and caught hints of his taste. 

When he tried to deepen the kiss Matthew finally rolled on his side facing him so they could manage it. He let out a small noise as Matthew’s tongue pressed into his mouth. The bare skin pressing together made it feel so much more intimate. 

He felt like he was showing Matthew all of him. It didn’t matter that Matthew had obviously seen everything, or that he was carrying his baby, it still felt like this was their first time touching like this. Maybe that was why he was reacting like he was a teenager, already a little wet between his legs.

Feeling Matthew’s tongue in his mouth he couldn’t stop thinking about what it would feel like to have other parts of his body inside him. He pulled back, keeping his thighs together in the hopes that Matthew couldn’t smell him. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for what his body was craving. 

He could feel Matthew’s cock pressing against him, and he was sure Matthew could feel the same.

Will was the one to break the kiss, his skin feeling tight with want. 

“I thought you wanted a nap?” 

Matthew’s voice was warm and a little tight with need, but he was teasing. 

“I thought it might be nice to have a bit of skin contact, and I am still planning on that nap.”

Will murmured, nuzzling his lips softly. 

He felt Matthew’s hand running against his side, and Will bravely reached between them, softly rubbing the front of Matthew’s underwear. The alpha gasped in a way he had never heard before and it was deeply rewarding. 

He hesitated about pushing it down, but then he closed his eyes and slipped his hand under the waistband. Will gasped as he felt the hard flesh, it felt like a lot, having never had an alpha before. Part of him wondered how he could take it, the rest of him wanted to try.

“Oh god Will.”

Matthew gasped; slowly putting his hand over Will’s guiding him as he started to stroke him. 

He could feel his stomach flop from want; Matthew’s little noises were making felt like a siren song. Once Matthew seemed happy with how he handled his cock he felt his hand on his own boxers, pushing them around his thighs. 

He dared a peek down and saw Matthew’s cock leaking and his own fully hard against his stomach. Matthew’s hand slipped around him touching him in all the right ways. With how Matthew handled his cock he knew he wouldn’t last long. 

All the sudden he felt like this was an echo, he’d seen Matthew’s hands around him and his stomach gave another flop. Everything felt overwhelming for a few seconds, but when he stilled around Matthew the alpha paused in his strokes.

“No don’t stop.”

Will tried to push the feeling away, and he shifted his hips close so they could wrap their fingers around their shafts, pressed tight together. 

He was more hanging on for the ride. It was obvious that Matthew knew his body well, maybe better than he did. Will could feel the love through their bond and the excitement. The alpha had been hiding how much he had wanted it, how much he had missed touching his mate like this. 

Touching seemed to be making it so much easier to feel Matthew in their bond, and he was sure the alpha felt his orgasm as he spurted over their hands. 

Will felt dazed, like he needed a moment, but he kept helping Matthew, slipping his fingers around his knot as he got close and watching him come as well. He felt it, the release and the pleasure and warmth making their bond hum. 

Matthew was beaming at him, and he was sure he was grinning back like an idiot. 

“I’ll be right back.”

Will nodded in response to Matthew’s words and rolled onto his back, it was the first time he felt like this was where he belonged and he tried to think over the memory, the hint of touching. The same hands that were just around him. 

He stayed relaxed even as Matthew brought a warm damp towel and wiped him clean; making sure that there was nothing left behind. 

Matthew was the one to tuck him back into his boxers and pull the blankets around his neck. Will was almost asleep by the time he returned from the bathroom a second time, and was only able to push back into Matthew before he drifted off. He didn’t feel like a guest in the house at the moment, Will felt like he was home.


	10. Chapter 10

Matthew’s was glowing for the last three days. Will was slowly opening up to him, and they had shared a few more sloppy hand jobs. One in a shared shower and another that morning. It felt like a new start to their relation and so unlike the first. 

The first time they had been together Will had been deep in both self-hate and anger. The first time they had slept together Will had used him and made him leave almost immediately. It took a long time for it to feel like more than Will was just using his body. 

When the omega had finally agreed to go on a date it had been good, and there had been warmth there. It was the first night they had had more than just a rough fuck. They had had sex for most of the night and that was more what this reminded him of. 

There was no anger in this Will. He was flustered and sweet and so very content to be still. There was only giddiness in the beginning of their relationship this time. 

When he tucked Will into the car to go to the doctor’s appointment they had been relieved to hear that everything looked normal other than Will already having roundness to his belly. They got the appointment set for an ultrasound in a week. Since Will was older the oncologist wanted to make sure that everything was forming well and as it would be between six and seven weeks since conception they would be able to hear the heartbeat. 

Matthew had also noticed how Will was already starting to show, it was now obvious that it was more than just bloating when the omega had his shirt off. 

He could tell Will wasn’t fully connecting with the fact that he was going to have a baby. Although he didn’t seem to mind Matthew sometimes felt like Will was thinking of himself as a surrogate for him and the past Will rather than that this would also be his child. That still worried Matthew, but nothing would cure it but time.

Will’s hair was now long enough that he just looked like he had buzzed his hair and that it wasn’t because of an accident. Although he could still see the dark lines where his head had been sewed up, things were beginning to feel like they had before. 

In fact Matthew couldn’t stop smiling at Will as he looked at his nude mate snuggled in the blankets next to him. A nap in the middle of the day was normally not something he would partake in, but Will had asked and he had never been good at saying no to Will.

He ran his hand over the sleeping omega’s side and reached out through their bond. Slowly Will seemed to be getting a handle on it, although he never hid his growing feeling, he was starting to be able to hold back from shoving them down their bond. In his sleep Matthew could feel steady warmth. 

Matthew could hardly wait for him to really start nesting; his own hormones were changing as the pregnancy continued. He wanted to keep Will snuggled in the house.

After Dolarhyde he was already worked up with the need to protect Will, this was not helping at all. 

When Will started to stir he made a decision. 

He watched the omega curl closer and he pressed kisses all over his face until he saw the little smile on his lips. 

“Do you know we live near the beach?”

Will opened his eyes, his surprise plan on his face. Matthew knew that he stayed mostly to the house. He wouldn’t have followed the trail at the edge of their property. 

“How near?”

“A few minutes. If you would like we could go there together today.” 

It had been on the beach where they had first decided to try fertility treatments. After another failed heat had almost broken Will’s heart. There was nothing Matthew could do, but comfort him. It was because of his past that they weren’t able to adopt, although Will’s stint in the mental hospital hadn’t helped. 

He remembered the two of them looking out at the water and Will staring out at the sea with a dull expression on his face. They had talked about their options again and Matthew had wanted to stop. It was awful each heat. The disappointment crushing Will each time, and there was nothing he could do to help. Will had told him about the research he had been doing, that maybe the treatments would help. 

Matthew had almost said no, because he wasn’t sure he could take it. It was something he had never been able to protect Will from. Instead he had agreed. Four more heats and then they would stop. It had only taken two. 

He wished Will could remember how much this had meant to him. How much it meant to both of them. 

Matthew didn’t have much hope of the beach bringing up memories, but he knew he had to keep trying. 

“Can we go there now? I need to do something other than sleep the day away.”

Will stretched beside him, but stayed tucked into his side. Again there was that lightness to him that Will never used to have. Matthew was tempted to try for another round, but he knew it was important to make sure they didn’t overdo it while they were still healing. His own arm was aching from using it too much. 

“Of course.”

Will finally moved at his answer, shyly crawling down to the end up the bed and pulling on a pair of discarded sweatpants. 

He watched for a moment, enjoying the look of his bare back, before dressing in the same thing himself, a t-shirt and sweatpants. 

From there he took Will’s hand and led him to the back door to slip on their sandals, and the out the back gate. Will looked around the whole time, taking in the sight of the trees and the sound of the waves not that far off. 

They had built a small shed in the forest just off the beach and in there Matthew found a blanket for them to sit on. 

He tried to place it in the same spot he always did, and then he seated himself and reached up so that he could steady Will as he sat down beside him. 

“This is lovely. You should have showed me sooner.”

Will was delighted by the sight and it was a reminder to Matthew of how much they had built together. 

“It’s why we bought the place, that and the dog fencing.”

Will leaned into his shoulder and he felt him tense just a little bit. There was a mixture of feelings through their bond before he spoke again.

“I remember this.”


End file.
